"Don't cry over spilled milk" is the phrase we hear the most, but what happens when it's your cute little plant or your expectations and not just milk?
Last week, my sweet mom and grandmother flew across the country to visit me. It was SUCH a treat to host them and such a special time for us girls. We walked to my favorite pizza place, walked to the beach at sunset, visited the cutest local coffee shop + nursery, ate lunch on the water, watched all. the. Hallmark movies and laughed until we cried. I got to cook for them a few times, which was a fun change because most of my life they've been the ones to cook for me! Their visit was pretty much perfect (even when the gas got shut off- eliminating the use of the oven, because it forced us to go out for pizza) except one minor incident. On Sunday, right before church (perfect timing, Satan), my mom went to open a curtain and my cute little cactus stuck to the fabric then fell to the floor. A simple accident, yes, but it reminded me of three lessons I've learned in life.
1. Everybody messes up. WE ARE ALL HUMAN and how boring of a life if we were perfect.
[What my mom didn't know was, a few weeks ago I went to open the windows and that same plant was a little too close. When I raised that window, it bumped the pot and caused a mess that looked the same. That little cactus is a trooper!] It was easy to extend grace because I had made the same mistake. I'm so thankful for parents, teachers, friends, police officers, my sweetheart, a boss, etc. who have shown me GRACE when I've failed or messed up. Being thankful for the grace and forgiveness of others acts as a reminder to offer the same grace and forgiveness to others.
2. It's just really not a big deal. Most of the time, this tends to be my natural mindset. I'm not sure if I've always been that way, maybe it's just my personality or maybe it's because I have loved ones who are deployed or have seen people close to me who have had serious illnesses/ surgeries. There are plenty of small things I still unnecessarily stress about, but I try to constantly reminding myself that "it's not life or death" and "there are much bigger problems that others are facing", and then a broken plant or a flat tire just really don't seem so important.
3. It's not worth spending energy being angry for things you cannot control. I couldn't control that plant from falling. I can't control when someone cuts me off on the interstate. I can't control when someone uses their words unkindly towards me or my loved ones. I can't control when the weather isn't the perfect temp or it's raining when I want to be outside. What I can control is my reactions to those things.
> Instead of being angry when someone cuts you off, be glad they didn't cause you to wreck. When the weather isn't perfect, be thankful God gave us seasons (how boring to wear the same clothes year-round!). And the hardest to remember, when someone is unkind- it might not be YOU. I'm learning that often times, when someone is unkind towards me, its not me, it's a deeper issue. For instance, recently at work a co-worker lashed out towards me constantly. It wasn't until over a year later that I learned she was going through a divorce. While that's not an excuse to act unkind, I understand her reasoning. The same thing is true when I've had a long day at work and then take it out on my sweetheart. Him asking me "what's for supper" isn't the problem, it's usually an accumulation of the day's events that make me snap. (Thankfully he's patient :)
Side note: hurt people, HURT people. If you know someone (a child or a friend) who is constantly hurting you or others whether it's by words or physical actions, there is a much deeper issue that needs to be addressed. I'm not an expert or a therapist, but we can all be mindful of that! You might not be able to help, but someone can. Living in Coronado, it's not uncommon someone to jump of the Coronado bridge and every time that happens, I can't help but think about how that person was hurting and who around them could have possibly helped. Just a smile at a stranger could make their day, you never know what people are facing.
As you should know, the plant got a new pot and is happily living in it's sunny little windowsill.
This is probably the least exciting post I will ever write, but it was tugging at my heart. Maybe it will remind you of similar lessons as it did me. In a society that encourages selfishness and outrage- be someone who seeks out the good in others, in yourself, in nature, in your home. I know you will be happier and more content because of it!
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